The Hottie Corner!
by Mika3
Summary: Do you lika hilarious talk shows? Do you just love anime? Well, read this if you do!! Tons of characters scramble to get on this show! (I'm so sure) Pleases R&R neways!
1. Default Chapter

***Disclaimer: Sorry folks I do not own any of these characters (except one), they all belong to their rightful owners! So in other words...Don't sue me!! You'll get nothin!***  
  
~AN: Hello, hello! Well I guess this is my first offical fanfic. I wrote another one that I made up completely by myself called Beyond Mysterious, but it has no characters from any known Anime in it. So....TA-DA here is my first REAL fanfic! It's a talk show kinda like The View, but a lot cooler! The hostesses are Xellina-dono (one of my best pals) and Mika- chan (me). They are in love with the men from almost every anime, but Xell really likes Kenshin (from Rurouni Kenshin) and Mika likes Tamahome (from Fushigi Yuugi). So they invite and swoon over their guests and once in awhile add in a woman guest to get in fights with! Hope you enjoy it!!~  
  
**Stage lights up, Mika-chan and Xellina-dono are both smiling into the camera as the crowd cheers**  
  
Xellina: Hello everyone and welcome to Xellina and Mika, Hunk Source! Where we interview your favorite guys from all the anime shows!!  
  
Mika: That's right!! We are very happy to see so many guests here!  
  
**Crowd Cheers**  
  
Mika: Ok, ok! Settle down folks! Lets get to the show!  
  
Xellina: ALRIGHTY! I'm proud to introduce all of you today to our manly guests who are.....Kenshin Himura!!!  
  
*Kenshin runs on stage, takes a bow, then runs off again.*  
  
Mika: Tamahome!!  
  
*He runs on and does the same thing as Kenshin*  
  
Xellina: Hotohori!!!  
  
*He slowly struts onto the stage, all the girls scream as he glitters by*  
  
Mika: And our special female guest Miaka!!!  
  
**Crowd Boo's as she walks onto the stage.**  
  
Mika: Know, know lets not be to hasty to the neko-shoujo!!! cat girl  
  
Xellina: Ooo nice burn Mika!  
  
Mika: Thanks! Oh wow what a lovely Kimono you have on Xellina! You look glamerous in that color!  
  
Xellina: Oh well thank you! I just got it yesterday at the market place!  
  
Mika: Charming! *Turns and looks into the camera, smiling again* Now let's bring out our first guest......  
  
Xellina: Hotohori, come on down baby!!!  
  
*He appears on stage and glitters his way to the hostesses, a few people in the audience pass out because of nose bleeds*  
  
Hotohori: Well, hello ladies!  
  
Mika & Xellina: *giggles* Irasshaimase!! welcome  
  
Hotohori: Aren't you too looking lovely!! Not as lovely as me of course!  
  
Mika: *under her breath* Ego maniac!  
  
Xellina: Sure whatever Hotohori! So tell us...How are you, we haven't seen you for ages!  
  
Hotohori: I'm great, being an Emporer is a blast! I saty busy all day with meetings and thinking about my plans for a future wife!  
  
Xellina: Sounds promising! Ok I have to ask and I know all the other ladies out there are dying to knoe the same thing I am! How do you keep your skin so smooth??  
  
Hotohori: *Chuckles* I moisturize every morning and get a good facial scrub at night. On Sunday's I where a cucumber face mask for 3 hours then rise it off with pure mineral water!  
  
Xellina: Wow all that for just your face! Amazing isn't it Mika!  
  
*Snore*  
  
Xellina: *pokes Mika* Baka! Wake up! We're in the middle of our show!  
  
Mika: Nani?? Oh yes, that's great......*snore*  
  
*Happy music fills the area*  
  
Xellina: Oh that's our cue for our first commercial break! Next up we have Kenshin and Tamahome strut their stuff down our hottie runway!  
  
**Commercials**  
  
*Stage lights up again and this time Mika is awake*  
  
Xellina: Welcome back everyone! Now I believe is the time all of you have been waiting for!  
  
Mika: That's right! It's now time for Tamahome and Kenshin to work it down our Hottie Runway!! They will be competing against one another for the title of the hottest guy!! *whispers to camera* ~Tamahome will totally win! He's got a nice ketsu!! butt  
  
Xellina: We'll just see about that Mika! My Kenshin the sexiest murasaki me!! purple eyes  
  
Mika: Whatever!! We'll just let our judges decide!!  
  
Xellina: Judging for us today are Hotohori, Nuriko, and Kaoru! Let's start the compitition!! Best of luck to you guys!!  
  
Mika: Now before we start the guys will be doing their own thing to get themselves some much needed points with the judges! So that means....NO RULES!!! On with the show!  
  
Xellina: First we have Tamahome and his randition of "I'm too Sexy for My Shirt."  
  
**Tamahome come down the runway wearing a black, silk Japanese suit. Music starts and Tamahome starts singing while unbuttonong his top.**  
  
Mika: *drool* Whoa baby!!! Take it off, take it all off!!!!!  
  
Xellina: Nice abs!  
  
**Tamahome throws all his clothes out to the girls in the crowd and struts up and down the runway with just his jokey undies on!! Then the likes turn off and the music still plays. When ligts turn back on Tamahome is standing cross legged with his jokeys over his shoulder. He winks and throws them to Mika ~don't worry they're clean~, then he does one of his karate kicks, then walks off the stage shaking his ketsu!**  
  
*Crowd goes nuts*  
  
Xellina: Whoa, I think we need the prarmedics! Mika here has just passed out!! Daijobu desu ka?? are you all right  
  
Mika: No, no daijobu I'm all right!! That was awesome, I hope Miaka didn't see that!!! Judges what do you say??  
  
Hotohori: 9.5  
  
Nuriko: A perfect 10!!  
  
Kaoru: 7.0, I think he could have done better.  
  
*Crowd boo's at Kaoru*  
  
Xellina: Well that's one tough cookie!!  
  
Mika: *under her breath* Busu baka! ugly idoit Next we have Kenshin showing off his moves to "Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting!"  
  
*Xellina runs over closer to the stage*  
  
** Kenshin comes out, reverse blade drawn. Music starts and he runs down the run way straight towards a wooden dummy.**  
  
Kenshin: Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu style!!  
  
**Kenshin slashes the wood to bits and in the end his kimoto is totall off his shoulders showing his very well built chest and stomach. He takes it off and hands it to Xellina, then kisses her on her forehead. Xellina then gets a nose bleed and passes out. Kenshin turns to face the roaring crowd.**  
  
Kenshin: Hai Ya!  
  
**He yells out the last word in the song and then walks off stage waving to all the screaming fans.**  
  
Mika: Oh baby!! That was impressive!  
  
Xellina: That it was!  
  
Mika: *chuckles* Judges what do you say?!  
  
Hotohori: 7.5, he isn't as pretty as I am!  
  
Nuriko: 9.5, I Loved it!  
  
Kaoru: 10!!! Although that makes me mad cause he's never kissed me before!  
  
Mika: Oh my gosh!! We have a tie, I guess we have the worlds TWO hottest guys with us today!!! Would the two gentle men come out please!  
  
*Kenshin ~still w/o a top~ and Tamahome ~now in some red jokey undies~ come out, arms around each others shoulders, laughing. They take a bow, the crowd goes bonkers and a few try and mob the stage. The judges leave and Mika and Xellina grab their favorite guy and sit them down in the love sofas they have placed on stage.**  
  
Mika: Well I must say you two were off the charts! ~snuggles closer to Tamahome~ But I must nobody can beat my Tamahome!!  
  
Xellina: ~Not paying attention to Mika, just playing with Kenshins hair while he wraps his arms around her~ Sure, whatever you say Mika.....Kenshin stop that!  
  
*Commercial Break*  
  
*Light come back to stage*  
  
**The two girls give out guy scouting tips to the audience and take questions written to them by some viewers. Suddenly Miaka come running in.**  
  
Miaka: You baka!!! Get away from Tamahome!!  
  
Mika: Oh look everyone it's our special guest! MIAKA!!  
  
*Crowd boo's**  
  
Mika: So Miaka how have you been doing? Passes high school yet?  
  
Miaka: You baka!! Get away from my Tamahome!!  
  
Mika: Your Tamahome?? Hahaha what a naive girl!! Who said he ever wanted you?  
  
Miaka: Damare Bakana!!! *Jumps on Mika and starts ounching her*  
  
Xellina: Hey!! What the hell do you think you're doing slut!! That's my friend! *Xell jumps on Miaka and throws her off of Mika*  
  
Mika: Man, Miaka you just made a very, VERY bad choice! *Angry red aoura surrounds her*AN: Just in case you didn't know, Mika is a sorceress!!  
  
Xellina: Chikushou!!! Hit the deck everyone!! Mika is PISSED!!  
  
**Everyone throws themselves to the floor except Miaka who doesn't know what's going on. Mika yells and sends out a huge Qui blast towards Miaka. Tamahome just sits there wondering if he should interfere.**  
  
Miaka: IYEE!!! Oww  
  
**Miaka falls forward passing out and Mika runs her hand through her hair breathing slowly.**  
  
Mika: Well, that was fun! Thanks for the help Xell!  
  
Xellina: No prob!! Anything for my girl!!  
  
**Mika gets up and runs back stage and comes back out with a pissed off Kaoru and a bazooka.**  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin!!! You love her!?! *Points to Xellina*  
  
Kenshin: ORO!!!!  
  
**Kaoru runs at Xellina and Miake aims the bazooka at Mika. The fours girls fight behind the two love sofas where Tamahome and Kenshin sit.**  
  
*Happy Music starts to play.*  
  
Kenshin: Well, folks I guess that's all the time we have for today!  
  
Tamahome: Thanks for watching!!  
  
*The guys stand up and together wave good-bye*  
  
Kenshin& Tamahome: Sayonara!!  
  
**Stage lights dim and the crowd starts to clap. The four girls still fighting stop and wave good-bye then start killing one another again. Kenshin and Tamahome walk off stage together.**  
  
Tamahome: Hey Kenshin, you wanna go grab some sake some where?  
  
Kenshin: Sure! I know just the place!! Maybe we can grab Sanosuke and Tauski on our way?!  
  
Tamahome: Sure thing bro!  
  
*Show ends*  
  
  
  
~AN: Well, there you have it!! R&R and tell me if you like it!! And give me suggestions for guests on the next show and what we should do!!! Thanks!~ SAYONARA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. Episode 2!! The wonders of Sake!

***Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters (except one), they all belong to their rightful owners!! Please.....DON'T TRY AND SUE ME!! You will get NOTHING!***  
  
~AN: Hello again! Time for the second show for me hottie corner!! And today's special feature.......SPELL CHECK!! Yes, I went and reread my last one and there were TONS of mistakes, I'm so sorry about that! So when I'm done with this I'm going to spell check it for all of you!!! Oh please R&R, thanks!~  
  
**Stage lights up showing Mika-chan and Xellina-dono sitting and smiling at the camera. Mika has a Black eye and a leg cast and Xellina is wearing a neck brace.**  
  
Mika: Hello folks! Welcome to our second show!! We are glad to see you all here!  
  
*Crowd cheers*  
  
Xellina: We have to apologize for our out break in our last show. That was very uncalled for.  
  
Mika: Yeah! I agree we should have pounded those sissies into the ground!! *Throws arm in the air that has cast around it...cringes in pain*  
  
Xellina: Mika, control yourself!! Although I do agree with you, but you know I think you proved your point cause we just got word that Miaka was released from the hospital last night and is in a full body cast!  
  
Mika: Buwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!  
  
Xellina: ~sigh~ You're a nut Mika!  
  
Mika: Hey you were the one who broke 10 of Kaoru's teeth, broke both of her legs and made her get 150 stitches on her head! You're one mean sista!!  
  
Xellina: *Pops knuckles* You know it!!  
  
Mika: Hey Xellina?  
  
Xellina: Nani?  
  
Mika: Umm can you answer a question for me?  
  
Xellina: Sure!!  
  
Mika: Don't you have the power to heal..........  
  
Xellina: .....uhhhhh....yeah, I kinda forgot......  
  
Mika: YOU FORGOT!!!  
  
Xellina: Oops!  
  
Mika: *shakes her head* What do you say about healing us!  
  
Xellina: Ok! Sounds good!  
  
Mika: I'm sure it does! Hey how about we go to a commercial break while we do this and when you come back we'll introduce our heavenly hunks!!!  
  
Xellina: Sounds great!  
  
*Music Starts playing and you see Xellina start to glow purple*  
  
*Commercial break* ~Use your imagination to think of three great commercials to go here~  
  
*Stage lights up. The hostesses are completely healed and Mika throws her cast behind her*  
  
Xellina: Welcome back everyone!! Now that we're all better, what do you say about introducing our guests Mika!!  
  
Mika: Alrighty! First I'd like to introduce you to one of the best kenkaya street fighter I know!! Sanosuke or Zanza as he was called when he was a fighter for hire!!  
  
**Crowd cheers as Sano walks on stage, chewing on a fish bone, he doesn't even look up just waves at the crowd and walks back off stage.**  
  
Xellina: Lively fellow isn't he! Next we have everyone's favorite flame boy.....TAUSKI!!!  
  
**Girls in the crowd go nuts as Tauski runs on stage, flexing his muscles and showing off his flaming fan. He flexes one more time then runs off the stage**  
  
Mika: And last, but not least we have our two worlds hottest guys showing off this Falls new men's fashions! Kenshin and Tamahome!!  
  
**The guys come out together and run over and give their girls a kiss and then run off stage again**  
  
Mika: Hey that wasn't in the script!! It's not like I'm complaining though!!  
  
Xellina: You never do!  
  
Mika: Hey at least MY guy isn't a prude red head!  
  
Xellina: He's not prude! He just like to take things slow, that's all.  
  
Mika: Mm hmm, sure.......PRUDE!!!  
  
Xellina: Well at least he isn't a sex maniac!!  
  
Mika: *Acting innocent* I don't see anything wrong with that at all!! I mean it's kinda nice coming home after a long day at work and opening the bedroom door only to hear some soft music, smelling the incense burning, and seeing Tamahome there waiting in nothing but a thin silk sheet that he pulls off and......  
  
Xellina: AHHHHHHH!! STOP, stop! Please my brain is burning!! So many bad images!! Please just stop!  
  
Mika: Man get a grip!! Ok so now lets have our first guest come out and show us his wonderful fighting techniques! Ladies and Gentle Men...Sanosuke!!  
  
**Sanosuke comes out with a fish bone still in his mouth and sits down in the extra chair next to Mika**  
  
Mika: Hello there Sano-baby!!  
  
Sano: Hey....  
  
Mika: Is that all I get?! I thought I was your favorite girl!?  
  
Sano: Damn you silly girl! *Get's up and kisses Mika and Xellina on the cheek* There you happy Jou-chan?? little missy  
  
Mika: Hey that's what you call Kaoru!!  
  
Sano: And your point being......  
  
Mika: I don't want to be called the same thing that brat is!!  
  
Sano: Cool it Jou-chan!  
  
Mika: Xellina, switch places with me! He's getting on my nerves.  
  
Xellina: Ok!! Hey I thought you were his favorite girl?!  
  
Mika: Stuff it!!  
  
Xellina: Ok....*Switches places* So Sano, how are you?  
  
Sano: Great....  
  
Xellina: Nice enthusiasm! Do you have a job yet?  
  
Sano: Yeah!  
  
Mika: What would that be....Bum for hire?? *glare*  
  
Sano: Not exactly Jou-chan! I just started my own line of over jackets with Japanese symbols on the back of them! Like my "bad" one.  
  
Xellina: REALLY!!! I think that Kenshin might be modeling one of your jackets today!  
  
Sano: No shit!! Kenshins here?!  
  
Xellina: Yeah he is!!  
  
Sano: Shit!! I haven't seen him for over 3 weeks now! I'm gonna go see him!  
  
Xellina: But we're not done with your interview!  
  
Sano: Hell with the interview!! I gotta bone to pick with the red headed baka! See ya Jou-chan!!  
  
Mika: Xellina, please let me blast him!!!  
  
Xellina: NO! Don't even think about it! This is disappointing though, he was going to show us some of his moves for when he fights!  
  
Mika: Who really cares!  
  
*Happy music fills the air*  
  
Xellina: Oh it's time for our commercial break!! Be back in 5!!  
  
**Commercials** ~Again use your imagination for 4 wonderful commercials here~  
  
*Stage lights up again only showing Mika*  
  
Mika: Hello everyone!! Sorry to say, but Xellina had to go stop Sano from drinking all the sake backstage. She'll be back, BUT in the mean time I'll introduce our next guest....Tauski!!  
  
**Tauski comes bounding out waving to everyone**  
  
Tauski: Mika-chan!!  
  
Mika: Tauski-sama!! How are you?  
  
*They hug, Tauski sits down*  
  
Tauski: I'm F****** great!! How about you?  
  
Mika: Wonderful as always!!  
  
Tauski: Hey I heard you put Miaka in a body cast.  
  
Mika: *Evil giggles* Yes, that was me!  
  
Tauski: Shit girl!  
  
Mika: So how's life?? You gotta job?  
  
Tauski: Yeah I do have one! I work down at the local tavern!  
  
Mika: Doing what?  
  
Tauski: Umm....striping....  
  
Mika: REALLY!! I'll have to come see you!  
  
Tauski: Damn it don't...you'd make me nervous!  
  
Mika: *Evil smile* Oh so I make you nervous huh?? *Starts crawling onto his lap and kisses his neck*  
  
Tauski: AHHHHHH SHIT!!  
  
Mika: Don't tell me you're still afraid of women?!  
  
Tauski: Well, umm.......yes!  
  
Mika: Oh my gosh boy!! You haven't grown out of that yet!? *Goes and sits in her own chair, Tauski starts breathing again* So no girlfriend yet I assume?  
  
Tauski: ~gulp~ no......  
  
Mika: Oh for heaven sake!!  
  
Tauski: Well!!!  
  
Mika: That's it! one of these shows we're going to do the dating game with you!!  
  
Tauski: DAMN!!!  
  
Mika: Oh hush!!  
  
**Xellina runs on stage**  
  
Xellina: Hey Tauski I need your help with Sano. He's totally drunk!  
  
Tauski: Damn I'd be glad to help!  
  
Mika: I can think of so many reasons why!  
  
Tauski: *Glare* Xellina-dono you stay here and help host, I'll go get Sano!  
  
Xellina: Ok!! So Mika what's next?  
  
Mika: *Whispers in Xells ear*  
  
Xellina: Oh yeah!! As our final guests tonight we have Kenshin and Tamahome modeling this years men's fall fashions! So get ready for this ladies cause they are HOT! Hit it boys!  
  
*Fashion music starts, Kenshin and Tamahome come out wearing black sweaters with tight blue jeans and dockers black leather shoes. All the girls go wild when they see the guys. They go back in and model three more out fits before Sano suddenly walks onto the runway*  
  
Sano: Oh (hic) yeah!! I'm to (hic) sexy for my shirt! (HIC)  
  
Mika: SANO?! What in the hell do you think you're doing?!  
  
Sano: Oh Jou-chan, (hic) get up here and (hic) give Sano some (hic) sugar!  
  
Mika: Wow he is really drunk!  
  
*Tauski appears on the runway grabbing Sano*  
  
Xellina: Tauski thank goodness!! What happened back there why did you keep him with you?  
  
Tauski: Because......he got me drunk too!! (hic)  
  
Xellina: Oh no.....  
  
Mika: Well this should be fun!  
  
*The spot light shines on the two drunken baka's and the start to sing*  
  
Tauski & Sano: I can't remember how much I have drank.....  
  
Mika: Oh hell no!! Not that song!  
  
Xellina: Hahaha I love that song!  
  
Mika: End the show now or I'm blasting them!  
  
Xellina: EEK!! Fine, fine! Well thanks for watching everyone! We'll see you next time on....  
  
Mika & Xellina: Xellina and Mika's, Hunk Source!! Bye everybody!  
  
**Lights fade out with Tauski and Sano still singing and Mika grabbing Tamahome and kissing him**  
  
*Show ends*  
  
AN: Alrighty people!! That was show # 2!! Great huh? I know it still needs some work, but what can I say? Oh and I'm not kidding about that dating game for Tauski, so if you want to be one of the bachlorettes (sp?) (sorry I'm only excepting women) tell me in your review!! I'm only picking three and you never know if I night only get one offer or none, but if that happens I can always make up some people!! Any way please review this!! Thanks! 


	3. Episode 3...The Guys...

***Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters (except one), they all belong to their rightful owners!! Please.....DON'T TRY AND SUE ME!! You will get NOTHING!***  
  
~AN: HEY!!! So here we are again! I'm thinking I should start writing me other fanfic some more (It's called Beyond Reality, go read it), but I'm having too much fun with me talk show so thus I'm writing this! Get ready, this should be a pretty good show....I hope!~  
  
**Happy music blares and the stage lights up showing no one on stage**  
  
Crowd: Where are Mika and Xellina!!!  
  
**Tamahome comes running out on stage**  
  
Tamahome: Hey everyone! Umm, I've got some bad news...Mika and Xellina are not here today, they decided to take the week off and go to Hawaii.  
  
Crowd: BOO!!! WE WANT MIKA & XELLINA!!  
  
Tamahome: Hey...HEY!! Shut up everyone!!! I've got their understudies right here......KENSHIN AND ME!!  
  
**Crowd cheers as Kenshin comes running on stage and stands next to Tamahome**  
  
Tamahome: Shall we take a seat Kenshin?  
  
Kenshin: Sure! So who are our guests today?  
  
Tamahome: *With cheesy smile* I have no idea!!  
  
Kenshin: Oro!!  
  
**Stage manager runs up and whispers in Tamahome's ear**  
  
Tamahome: Oh really? We have guests? OK bring the first one out!  
  
Kenshin: I wonder who it is, that I do!  
  
**Small figure runs on stage, Kenshin stands up in surprise**  
  
Kenshin: YAHIKO??  
  
Yahiko: Hey Kenshin! Umm can you tell me what I'm doing here?  
  
Kenshin: Weren't you booked to come on the show? Didn't Xellina-dono call and tell you?  
  
Yahiko: No, I was practicing my kenjutsu and suddenly some guy grabbed me and brought me here and I was pushed onto the stage.  
  
Tamahome: I can't believe those girls!! That probably means they didn't call anyone! Damn it that also means that they probably kidnapped everyone! Great...  
  
Kenshin: So what do we do once the guest has arrived?  
  
Tamahome: We ask them stupid, worthless questions that make the crowd clap and make them look like idiots.  
  
Kenshin: Ok! I can do that! So, Yahiko how has....  
  
Yahiko: Wait a minute! I want to ask you guys some questions!  
  
Kenshin & Tamahome: *Nervously* ...ok....  
  
Yahiko: First, Kenshin, why did you choose Xellina-dono over Kaoru and Tamahome, why did you choose Mika-chan over Miaka??  
  
Kenshin: Umm, well, I just didn't feel anything between Kaoru and I. Yes I lived with her for a very long time, but the first time I looked into Xellina's beautiful eyes, fireworks went off and I knew I was in love. Xellina-dono and I were ment for each other, I was just so sad that it took me so long to find the love of my life!  
  
**Crowd swoons over the comment**  
  
Yahiko: Spare me with the mushy stuff!! What about you Tamahome?  
  
Tamahome: *Smiling as he thinks about Mika* Well, ya'll know that Miaka and I were a heavy item and we did a lot of things together that shall not be named, but then Miaka just got to annoying and she complained all the time and ate all my food. So I told her it was over, she cried as she grabbed the ice cream cone I had in my hand and ate that. I went out on the town that night hitting the local bars and on my way home I heard someone scream and ran in the direction of the voice. When I got to some secluded street I saw this girl with magnificent white wings and blazing red hair, she was being beat up by a group of men with knives. They were slashing her delicate wings and she couldn't do anything, but I could. I beat the hell out the guys that were attacking her. When I finally got to her, she was out cold. I sat with her and she woke up and started screaming for Xellina and out of no where she appeared with Kenshin by her side. Xellina pushed me away and grabbed Mika. She healed her and asked what had happened. Mika just cried and pointed at me. Kenshin then thought it was my doing in hurting her so we got in a huge fight until Mika screamed I didn't do it, that I had saved her. Kenshin stopped and apologized to me, then Mika came up to me and thanked me with the most passionate kiss I've ever had with a girl I just met! I knew I had to see her again after that, so I found out where she lived and got to know her and now I know I'm with the one! She is my life and my only true love! She will forever be in my heart!  
  
**Half of the crowd is asleep and the other half smile and clap at Tamahome's story**  
  
Yahiko: I didn't ask you to give me your life story baka!  
  
Tamahome: Shut up kid!  
  
Yahiko: Who you call'n kid?  
  
Tamahome: Uh, you! I don't see any body else her still wearing diapers.  
  
Yahiko: NANI?! You baka! *Draw his wooden sword and hits Tamahome on the head*  
  
Tamahome: What the hell you doin? Come here!  
  
Yahiko: You'll have to catch me!  
  
Tamahome: Fine! Come here you brat!  
  
**Tamahome runs off the stage after Yahiko. Something offstage crashes and you hear Yahiko laugh at Tamahome**  
  
Kenshin: Well, right now, I think would be a good time to go to our commercial break! Be back in two!!  
  
**Happy music plays,commercials start**  
  
Kenshin: Welcome back everyone! Tamahome will be back shortly. He ran into a metal shelf and got a bloody nose. Yahiko is now on his way back home, so I don't think there will be anymore upsets tonight like that one, that I do not.  
  
**Tamahome walks on stage rubbing his nose**  
  
Kenshin: Aw! Tamahome glad you could make it back.  
  
Tamahome: Whatever....damn stupid kid!  
  
Kenshin: Well then, should you bring in our next guest.  
  
**In the background you hear someone yell..."What's the big idea! Why am I here no da!"**  
  
Tamahome: Oh Suzaku!! Is that who I think it is?  
  
**Chichiri is pushed on stage**  
  
Tamahome: CHICHIRI!!!  
  
Chichiri: Nani? Is that you Tamahome?  
  
Tamahome: Who else would it be?  
  
Chichiri: It's been a long time no da! How've you been?  
  
**The two friends talk as Kenshin just sits alone, confused**  
  
Tamahome: And that's how you got here! Wow!!  
  
Chichiri: It was no easy task for them no da!  
  
Tamahome: Wow! Oh Chichiri, this is another one of my friends, Kenshin Himura!  
  
Chichiri: Nice to meet you no da!  
  
Kenshin: You too, it's my pleasure.  
  
Chichiri: Hey where are my two favorite girls?  
  
Tamahome: *Sulking* Hawaii.....  
  
Chichiri: Really? Man I wish I could go no da!  
  
Kenshin: You're not the only one....  
  
Chichiri: I might have to teleport in on them and say hi no da!  
  
Kenshin & Tamahome: Oo, oo take us with you!  
  
Chichiri: Sorry, no can do! You guys have show to finish no da! See ya later Tamahome and it was nice meeting you Kenshin. *Chichiri throws down his cape and step into the middle of it and is sucked into it*  
  
Tamahome: *Whinning* This stinks!  
  
Kenshin: The girls expect us to do a good job, that they do!  
  
Tamahome: I think we need another commercial break. I need to gather my emotions!  
  
Kenshin: It's ok buddy, I'm here. Just let all the frustration out.  
  
**Semi happy music plays and commercials start**  
  
Tamahome: Wel*sniff* come back every one. *sniff* Let's give a round of *sniff* applause to our two special guests *sniff* tonight.  
  
**Crowd cheers and claps**  
  
Kenshin: Let's welcome our last guest of the day!  
  
**The audience starts to clap, but when they see the guest start to come on stage the stop and stare**  
  
Tamahome: Umm, Kenshin what is that?  
  
Kenshin: I think it's a.......cat...  
  
Tamahome: What the....  
  
Cat: MEEEEEEOOOOOWWW!  
  
Tamahome: AHH! It's Tama!  
  
Kenshin: Whata?  
  
Tamahome: Mitsukake's cat!  
  
Kenshin: Who?  
  
Tamahome: Another one of my friends! I can't believe that a cat is our guest!  
  
Kenshin: Oro! I'm so confused!  
  
Tamahome: Come here Tama! *He reaches down to pick Tama up*  
  
Tama: REEEEEOOOOOWWW!!! *Tama scratches Tamahome's face*  
  
Tamahome: WHY YOU STUPID....KENSHIN GRAB HIM!!  
  
Kenshin: Ok...  
  
**Kenshin runs after Tama only to be scratched himself. Soon both guys are chasing after the cat like idiots. The stage manager runs on stage**  
  
Stage Manager: Well, everyone I guess now would be a perfect time to end the show. Don't worry Xellina and Mika will be back soon. Thanks for tuning in!  
  
**The SM waves good-bye as the camera fades out. At the last moment Tamahome yells out "Haha! I got the stupid thing!!!!"**  
  
**The show ends**  
  
AN: Well, that's it for that show. Yeah it was lame, but I was told that Tamahome didn't talk enough or Miaka, but I guess in the next show I could always invite Miaka again! Hey don't get me wrong I really like Miaka, but come on when your character is in love with some guy and so is another character, well, ya know not everything is all fun and games!! Please R&R!! 


	4. Episode 4...The Unshaven men!?

***Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters (except one), they all belong to their rightful owners!! Please.....DON'T TRY AND SUE ME!! You will get NOTHING!***  
  
~Hey everyone!! I just got home from my Cabin!! It was fun, but oh my gosh there was no Internet!! I wanted to write another story, but I was stuck drawing and wishing I could kill a couple of chipmunks that wouldn't go away and they wouldn't shut up! But know I'm back and ready to write! I'm tired and have only been back in civilization for about 5 hours, so no promises that this is going to be very good! Oh and I'm watching "Who's Line is it Anyway," (what that has to do with anything, I'm not really sure) man this is going to be a great story....cough....Here we go!~  
  
**Happy music starts and stage lights up showing Tamahome and Kenshin sitting on stage, both look really sick**  
  
Tamahome: Oh...welcome to the show everyone....*yawns* We've got some bad news...  
  
Kenshin: Yep, Mika-chan and Xellina-dono are still not back and we can't get a hold of them.  
  
Tamahome: Kenshin and I haven't slept for 3 days because Mika and Xell are missing, they aren't Hawaii anymore and they won't answer their cell phones.  
  
Kenshin: I'm getting really worried!  
  
Tamahome: You're telling me!! You know how lonely a king sized bed gets at night when you're all by yourself.  
  
Kenshin: Yes, I do know cause you have managed to call me everynight and tell me that same thing over and over and over......  
  
Tamahome: Well, can you blame me?  
  
Kenshin: Well, I guess we should introduce the guest...Yes, we really have guests booked this time.  
  
Tamahome: ...Mika-chan....*sniff*  
  
Kenshin: ~I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry~ *Yipes a tear* Well, first we have Carrot from Sorcerer Hunters.  
  
**Carrot runs out and bows, crowd goes wild**  
  
Tamahome: Then, we have the Masked Phantom guy from Sailor Moon.  
  
**A man in a white mask and a black cape struts out and throws red roses out to the cheering crowd**  
  
Kenshin: Who is that guy?  
  
Tamahome: Don't know, but I guess Sarina or something from Salior Moon likes him and he's a considered a hottie to our *sniff* girls! Damn it where are you Mika! *Starts to cry*  
  
Kenshin: Then last we have...oh no...*whispers to camera so Tamahome can't hear* what are you guys thinking?! This is nuts! Crap....last we have...Miaka Yuki, Tamahome's old girlfriend...  
  
Tamahome: *stops crying* Nani? You say something Kenshin?  
  
Kenshin: No not at all!! Just cover your eyes for 20 seconds for me.  
  
Tamahome: Nani? Ok...*covers eyes* 1...2...3...4...  
  
**Miaka runs out, waves at the crowd and is about to go glomp Tamahome, but Kenshin stops her and shoves her off stage**  
  
Tamahome: .. 18...19..20...*uncovers eyes* what was that all about Kenshin?  
  
Kenshin: Oh nothing!! Hey lets go to a commercial break now! Be back in 5!  
  
  
  
**Happy music plays, commercials starts**  
  
~*~*~*~* NEWS FLASH!!! Hello and this is your news caster Tigger, we have an important news flash here today. The nations beloved day time talk show hosts Mika-chan and Xellina-dono are missing. After leaving Hawaii to come home they called their boyfriends and after that no one heard from them. It's been 3 days since then and search parties have been organized. More on this story at 6:00 tonight.~*~*~*~*  
  
**Stage lights up, Sad music playing (Tamahome snuck into the control room and switched the music) showing Kenshin and Tamahome trying to stay awake**  
  
Kenshin: Welcome back everyone!! Now lets introduce our first guest....Carrot!!  
  
**Crowd goes wild. Carrot runs out and sits next to Kenshin, Tamahome falls asleep**  
  
Kenshin: Hey there Carrot!! Long time no see!  
  
Carrot: Hey! Yeah it's been too long!  
  
Kenshin: So how's life been treating you..or should I say hoe's Chocolate and her sister been treating you?  
  
Carrot: *laughs nervously* Pretty good....I got some new scars from that stupid whip! *Shows Kenshin his cut arm*  
  
Kenshin: Oh those little things!! Man I call those scratches! Now these oon the other hand are scars *Takes off shirt and shows his bares chest with many long scars on it*  
  
Carrot: Whatever......Look at THESE! *Takes off his shirt and shows his back with 3 long jagged scars*  
  
Kenshin: Ha! Look at this...*Rolls up pants leg and show a pink scar on his calf*  
  
**The two compare scars and keep undressing/fighting until...**  
  
Tamahome: *Opens eyes* AHHHHHHH!!! What the hell are you two doing. *Sees Carrot on top of Kenshin, both in their under garments*  
  
Kenshin: Umm...this probably looks kinda funny to ya huh Tamahome? *sweat drop*  
  
Tamahome: Well you would think so Kenshin. That is so wrong on so many levels!!  
  
Carrot: Hey it isn't what is looks like man!!  
  
Tamahome: Then tell me exactly what are you doing??  
  
Carrot: We're....uhhhh...ummm....you see....  
  
Kenshin: Going to a commercial break!!!  
  
**Skips music and goes straight to commercial**  
  
**Happy music plays (Stage manager switched music back) stage lights up showing a fully clothed Kenshin and a grossed out Tamahome**  
  
Tamahome: Welcome back everyone...~bad images~  
  
Kenshin: Tamahome, if you wouldn't mind not mentioning that to Xellina- dono...  
  
Tamahome: Don't worry! I plan on never telling anyone that I saw that side of you!  
  
Kenshin: *Blushes* You just told the whole nation....*Points to camera and microphone on Tamahome's shirt collar*  
  
Tamahome: Oh umm sorry about that! Anyway, Our next guest is Sailor Moons favorite mystery man....umm...The Mystery Man!!!  
  
**The Phantom guy walks out throwing red roses to the roaring crowd again**  
  
Tamahome: Hello...*shakes his hand* Please sir have a seat!  
  
Phantom: Thanks....  
  
Tamahome: So what is it like being a man of disguise?  
  
Phantom: Fine.....  
  
Tamahome: I bet all the girls love you!?  
  
Phantom: I guess.......  
  
Tamahone: Well, lets see for our self!! Lets go to our audience now and ask them to rank you Mr. Phantom on our Hottie scale!  
  
Phantom: ...  
  
**Tamahome gets up, takes an extra microphone up to the crowd and goes to different girls who scream out different numbers between one and ten**  
  
Tamahome: *Chuckles* Alright, lets see what the average is.....wow a smashing 8.9!! Very nice ~I have no idea about what in the hell I'm talking about~  
  
Kenshin: Well, there you have it folks I guess this guy is pretty hot!  
  
Tamahome: That sound so wrong coming form you right now Kenshin.  
  
Kenshin: Shut up!  
  
Phantom: Can I leave now?  
  
Tamahome: Uhhh...sure...Please everyone give this gentle man a round of applause.  
  
**Crowd claps and cheers as the Phantom guy leaves**  
  
Tamahome: Hey Kenshin what do you say I introduce our last guest?! *Tries to grab Kenshins cue card*  
  
Kenshin: *Pulling back* umm I don't think so Tamahome!! I think I commercial break sound better!!  
  
Tamahome: ... ok then...Now a word from our sponsors!!!!  
  
**Music plays and commercials start**  
  
**Stage lights up...no music**  
  
Kenshin: Hey everybody.....now it's time for our last guest *gulp* Miak-  
  
**Crowd gasps as two beautiful girls walk on stage, both guys turn around to see**  
  
Tamahome: MIKA-CHAN!!!???  
  
Kenshin: XELLINA-DONO!!!???  
  
**GLOMP**  
  
Mika: Hey guys!! Did you miss us?  
  
Tamahome: Did we miss you? DID WE MISS YOU?!?! WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOU HAD ME WORRIED SICK!! WHERE WERE YOU??  
  
**Kenshin and Xellina making out**  
  
Mika: Well, we decided we didn't want to go home to we went to the mainland of the U.S. I got you something.....*reaches into a bag*  
  
Tamahome: It better be good.....  
  
Mika: Here it is!!!  
  
Tamahome: What in the hell is this?  
  
Mika: Silly, it's an authentic Idaho Potato!!  
  
Tamahome: You got me a potato.....  
  
Mika: Yeah!! Isn't it great!  
  
Tamahome: You leave me for almost 2 weeks, I worry about you every split second, and then you suddenly pop up out of no where...and this is what you give me!?!?!?!  
  
Mika: You greedy pig!! *sighs* That's not all I got you...come here. *Whispers in his ear while smiling evily*  
  
Tamahome: Your kidding?!  
  
Mika: *Evil grin* Nope!  
  
Tamahome: Hell with the show!! Let's go, oh did you get any coconut oil?  
  
Mika: *pulls it out of the bag and swings in Tamahome's face* Yep, I knew you loved the stuff.  
  
Tamahome: *Grabs Mika* I'm so glad you're home *Kiss* now lets go!! I have some experimenting to do with all that stuff you told me about!!! *Pulls Mika off stage and out back door...they leave*  
  
Kenshin: *Stops kissing so he can breathe* Hey Xellina-dono, where's Miaka?  
  
Xellina: *Huff* She ran out the back door *huff* as soon as she saw Mika walk in.  
  
Kenshin: Thanks goodness!! *Xellina starts kissing him again* Wait...WAIT XELL!!  
  
Xellina: Sorry, I haven't seen you for so long...I just had to...ya know...  
  
Kenshin: Yes, I know!! I need to end the show first!  
  
Xellina: Well, hurry up......I'll be waiting in my dressing room *Evil grin*  
  
Kenshin: *Blushes* Ahem.....well, thanks for watching and see you next week!!!  
  
**Lights fade as Kenshin runs off stage towards Xell's dressing room and some weird rock music plays (Tamahome's doings again) show ends**  
  
  
  
~AN: Hmmm....so that was interesting....I'm so tired my eye balls are about to fall out!! I swear I'll do spell check on this before I go to bed and post this! Trust me it looks worse than the first one did right now without spell check!! Well, please review!! Thanks a bunch!!~  
  
~P.S. All those ladies out there who are trying to find a guy like Tamahome....guess what...I found him!! And he's my boyfriend! (For real I'm not kidding you ask my friend Xellina! She's an author on this site too! Go read her stuff it's great!) Bu wa hahahahahahahahahahaha. Truthfully I really don't know why I said that........I need sleep.....~ 


End file.
